The best way to start
by soundcheck123
Summary: Yet another 'morning after' one-shot... I hope I managed to add a little twist to it by looking at it through Kate's perspective, when she woke up and found herself in Castle's place. After all, we didn't get to see that, now, did we?


_I know, I know, we're all sick and tired of "morning after" fics... Especially now that the episode is out and everyone knows what happened! But still, all I've read so far are stories about how much Castle adores Beckett and not the other way around... And if you ask me, he is quite a catch himself! And we never got to see Kate waking up in his place. So here's a little stolen moment of their night together and what I think would be going through Kate's mind if, you know, she existed._

**XXX**

Kate growled as she realized she was no longer asleep. She was so tired... How did this happen? Eyes still closed, random images of the previous 24 hours flashed through her mind. What a crazy day. She took a deep breath and the scent that filled her nostrils reminded her of where she ended up after all that mess: the scent of Castle. She felt a chilly air drift up her naked back and figured that was probably what woke her up in the first place. Lying sideways and not looking back, she reached out with her right arm to look for his, only to find an empty space. Her eyes fluttered open and she rolled on her back, turning her head in the hope she'd find him a little further on the other side of the bed. But he was nowhere to be seen. What the...?

Squinting, she noticed that the bathroom lights were on. The sound of a toilet flush could be heard from a distance, followed by the sound of running water. She heard a doorknob being turned and the sudden brightness that invaded the room made her close her eyes again, lifting her hand to block it.

"Kate, did I wake you?" he quickly turned off the bathroom lights, closing the door behind him and heading towards the bed.

She opened her eyes again, now that it was safe, and smiled as her eyesight adjusted to the darkness and he came into view.

"I'm so sorry! Don't get up yet, it's still 4 a.m., I think" he whispered.

"Hi" she said, in a rather sleepy, but happy, voice as he joined her.

"Hi" he couldn't control the urge to smile at this very cute, fragile version of her.

"It's cold..." she complained, sounding very much like a grumpy 5-year-old, which made him chuckle. Her eyelids started feeling heavy once again.

"I know... Come here"

She turned to face him as he put his arm around her; the muscles on her back immediately relaxed. That's the effect Richard Castle had on her: he could always make her feel at ease, no matter how bad the situation was. He had had that power even before they met face to face, when he was just a picture on a book jacket.

Kate snuggled up against him, eliminating any distance left between them, resting her hands on his chest. The tip of her nose was suddenly itchy, so out of sheer laziness, she rubbed it against his cheek in a very bunny-like manner. She could feel his heart beat faster and relished the fact that she was the cause of this; she was, after all, his muse.

Somewhere in her half asleep mind, however, a hint of guilt weighed her down. She wondered how often his heart beat faster because of her, secretly hoping it wasn't too often, but knowing, deep down, that wasn't the case. She had made him suffer for so long... And he didn't deserve it, he didn't. She dragged him into the mess that her life had become after her mom's murder. She made him wait, not wanting to be with him just yet, because she was afraid, and not letting him go either, because she couldn't handle the thought of it.

All this time, she had been looking. For answers, for her mother's killer, for respect as a cop, for a way to make things _right_ again. She should've known as soon as she saw him at that party (maybe two weeks later, when he stopped acting like such a douche): she had been looking for the wrong thing in the wrong place. What she wanted was peace and he brought her just that. It's been over a decade since she felt completely at peace, like she felt... right now, right here. She had to go through countless threats, suspects, dark corners in the city before she realized this was the one place she should've been all along: nestled up against his chest, firmly held by his arms.

At that moment, Kate Beckett promised herself she would never, ever let Rick suffer again. Not because of her. There was so much she wanted to tell him. When she showed up at his door, she had an entire speech planned; Kate managed to get maybe 10% of it out of her chest. She wasn't as good as he was with words. Still, even after everything that ensued, she felt like he deserved a better explanation. Her body ached and her head was heavy, but she still tried her best to lift it and say something. What came out was an incomprehensible mumble.

"Shh, Kate" he stroked her cheek "Everything's fine now. You're here... Go to sleep."

She tried to get the words out once again and failed. She had no idea she could feel this tired.

He held her tighter and kissed her forehead. She felt a wave of calmness wash over her again and, against her will, drifted off to sleep.

**XXX**

She woke up when a ray of sunlight struck her directly in the eye, unable to ignore it. She blinked and looked around, until her eyes landed on the man lying next to her. A huge smile crept up on her face; she bit her bottom lip, but there was no way to stop it. That is, until Castle let out a loud snore. She laughed and he moved slightly, making her stop suddenly, afraid to wake him up.

"Castle?" she whispered almost inaudibly.

"Hmmm-mphhhh" he grunted.

Was he awake? He didn't move, so probably not. She gently removed his hand from her hip and got out of bed.

Coffee. As lame as it sounded after everything they'd been through, coffee was sort of their tradition: he had always had a cup of coffee at hand whenever she needed one; it was about time she repaid the favor.

Stepping out of bed made her realize how very naked she was and, regardless of what they had done the previous night, she wasn't about to go strolling around his apartment in her birthday suit. She looked at the floor in a vain attempt to find her clothes, but they were scattered all over the place. Under different circumstances, she would've been mad; but the memory of how the mess came to be in the first place was just too good. She sighed and decided she wasn't in the mood to hunt down her probably still moist clothing pieces, heading to Castle's closet, hoping to find a robe or something similar.

No robe was in sight, but a white shirt caught her eye. Taking it off the hanger, she noticed it was a bit messy. Maybe he had tried it on and put it back, because it _definitely_ smelled of Castle. _Ladies and gentlemen, we have a winner,_ she thought, as she put it on.

She walked across the bedroom, glancing sideways at Castle to make sure he was still sleeping. Smirking, she walked into the loft's well-lit living room. Kate came to an abrupt halt, looking around, almost able to see the image of herself and Castle tangled by the door on the previous night.

Wow, this was really happening. They had been playing jump rope with this thin line between love and... well, something else that resembled it, and now they had finally crossed it. And there was no going back, she knew that much.

_And please, Kate, don't screw it up_, she thought to herself, going into the kitchen. Because if anyone was bound to make this go wrong, it was her. She was the one who made it so complicated, she was the mess; he was just perfect - not the textbook definition of perfect, but perfect _for her_. She had been uptight for the past decade and he made her laugh even in the worst imaginable situations; she was completely incapable of expressing her feelings and he wore his on his sleeve. He was a good dad, a good son, a good partner, a good... lover (even if she was in the privacy of her own mind, Kate blushed at this).

While absent-mindedly making coffee, she made a promise to herself that she could, no, _would_ not screw this up, feeling a bit of déjà vú about it. Had she made that promise before? Irrelevant. There was still such a long way to go. How would they tell Alexis and Martha? What about her coworkers at the precinct? Oh wait, she didn't work there anymore... The thought of it made her feel... weird. She tried focusing on the task at hand, for the time being. They'd have time to discuss it later.

She poured coffee into two mugs and made her way back into the bedroom. When she approached the door, Kate was pleasantly surprised to find that he was already up, with a confused look upon his face. That is, until he saw her. His concerned demeanor was replaced by one of sheer admiration. And at that moment, Kate Beckett made yet another promise to herself: she would try her best to be the person Rick Castle saw whenever he looked at her.

And being around him was the best way to start.


End file.
